I do not recognize my father-in-law anymore
I do not recognize my father-in-law anymore
My parents separated when I was three years old. My father died a few years later, and although I did not see him very often, I had a good relationship with him and I miss him very much. My mother remarried when I was five years old and my father-in-law, whom I have always considered my dad, was an exemplary father in my eyes. He never made a difference with my brothers and sisters who were married to my mother. In short, an extra dad.
Today, my father-in-law and my mother are divorced. They have redone their lives, each on their own. My mother is with a very kind man who regards us as his children and my father-in-law with a woman my age (I'm thirty-four) with whom he is going to have a child. In fact, my problem is that I have a hard time accepting this relationship that I find "abnormal". My "dad" is no longer the one I knew, this man so straight and loving, simple and with great values about life and living beings. He is no more than a stranger, as if from this new relationship all these beautiful values on the family had vanished.
I am a mother of two children. He is therefore a grandfather at forty-nine, but does not consider himself a grandfather. He rarely sees his grandchildren (about once a year) while we live ten kilometers from his home. The few times we meet, I feel like a stranger and it is true that I have no affinity with his girlfriend, which works only for interest and is interested only in what shines. But out of love for him, I ignore that. My brother and the smallest of my sisters do not have this problem, but my other sister got angry with him two years ago, and she does not want to hear about it anymore.
I have the clear impression of having lost my second dad and I suffer a lot. But I think he's happy like that and I only want his happiness. I just do not understand that we can change at this point. If one day, I say what I have on my heart, I will be banished and I will suffer to lose it. But I also suffer from saying nothing. It's a dilemma ...